Lacewings
by Maia1
Summary: BuffySpike. Spike was resurrected as a human after Chosen and went back to the name William. Buffy and William in New York City on a summer night in 2008.


**_Lacewings_ takes place in the same AU as _Gifts_ and _Metamorphosis_. In the AU, Spike was resurrected as a human after his death in "Chosen" in 2003. After becoming human again, he went back to the name William, and did not contact any of the Scoobies. Five years later, in the summer of 2008, he and Buffy met again. **

**_Lacewings_ takes place a few weeks after their reunion. Buffy is still adjusting to Spike being human and called William - and to the possibility of a rekindled romance.**

**The title and the quote at the beginning from Barbara Kingsolver's **_**Prodigal Summer**_** refer to lacewing moths, who do all their eating as larvae, and don't even have mouths as adult moths who live for only one day.**

* * *

**Lacewings**

_They were everywhere suddenly, dancing on sunbeams in the upper story, trembling with the brief, grave duty of their adulthood: to live for a day on sunlight and coitus. Emerged from their slow, patient lives as carnivorous larvae, they had split down their backs and shed the husks of those predatory leaf-crawling shapes, left them lying in the mud with empty legs askew while their new, winged silhouettes rose up like carnal fairies to the urgent search for mates, egg laying, and eternal life._  
-Barbara Kingsolver, _Prodigal Summer_

**July, 2008**

"I didn't know there were fireflies in Central Park," she said.

"Yeah. Any bit of green space, they're there. Looking for mates." He immediately wished he hadn't said the last part.

But she didn't react. She was watching the blue-green lights come and go in the dusk. There was still no breeze to ease the heat that lingered over the city even as it grew dark. A few hours before the streets had seemed like ovens under the merciless sun. _Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines_. He doubted she would take well to a poetry recitation. Though at least that other William had been able to do it right.

A firefly winked only a few inches away from him. Another firefly replied. They approached each other. The first one landed on a shrub and signaled frantically. The second landed too.

Buffy suddenly turned away. "It's so hot. I'm really thirsty. Let's go."

They walked off. He looked back. The two fireflies were closer now, nearing each other. He hoped they would find each other.

* * *

At Columbus Circle they bought lemonades. They sat by the fountain and watched the crowd. A couple with a tiny baby walked by. Buffy's eyes followed them as they moved past. 

They sat in silence for another few minutes. Then Buffy said, "I envy you."

He looked at her, puzzled. "Why?"

"You're normal now. You can live a normal life."

_Oh. That again._

"I thought," he said cautiously, "that with so many slayers now, that you _could_ live a normal life."

"Not."

"Why not?"

She sighed elaborately. "'Cause I'm not just a slayer, I'm The Slayer. Buffy the CEO of Slayer Inc."

"So take early retirement."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"I just - can't."

He raised an eyebrow. "Can't? Or won't?"

"I don't know," she said, and got up abruptly.

* * *

He followed her back into the park. She sat down on a bench and demanded, "Doesn't it kill you?" 

"What?"

"Not being able to fight. You loved it."

"I did. I miss it. A lot. But - there's other things. More to life than just fighting."

"Not for me."

"It's who you are."

"It's not who you are?"

He shrugged. "Too much of a hedonist."

She touched his shoulder. "You made a good Champion."

He winced at the past tense.

She dropped her hand. "Sorry."

* * *

He looked up at the sky. A bright star, visible even in the city, was caught among the leaves of a linden tree. The fireflies danced around them. 

"If you could wake up a normal human tomorrow, would you?" he asked.

"No. You're right. It's who I am. I just - I wish I could have kids."

"Why can't you have kids?"

"I wouldn't want a kid to go through what I went through. With Mom."

"Never any guarantees. Joyce wasn't a slayer."

"Yeah. But - it's not just possible. It's likely."

"When I was growing up, most children lost a parent before reaching adulthood."

"Yeah. But that doesn't make it okay. And even if it were okay for the kid - what about the father? 'Hi, I'm Buffy. Let's have babies. And oh, by the way - you're probably going to wind up a single parent. 'kay?' Yeah. That'll go over well."

He swallowed. "I would be willing to take the risk."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't offer to let me use you again. 'Cause I'll do it. And then I'll hate myself."

He glared at her. "I'm not offering to let you use me! I'm telling you I love you and I want to be with you for all the time we have! And if that's a short time, well I survived your death once and I can survive it again! And I took care of a child you left behind before, and I can do it again!" He lowered his voice. "I love you, Buffy. I'll take any time I can have with you. But only..." he took a deep breath. "Only if you love me too. I know slaying is who you are. I know you'll always be a little in love with death.  
And I'm not death. Not anymore. I'm just a man. Just a man who loves you. Can you - do you..." he couldn't finish the question.

It seemed an eternity before she whispered, "I do."

He thought he might burst with happiness. But she wasn't ready for that. She was looking at the ground as she asked, "But..what about when...when I..._want_ it?"

"Death."

"Yeah."

"Do you want it now?"

"No. But I have. And I will again. I know. And if...if we have kids..."

"If we have kids, and if you...if you want it...I'll be there."

She looked up at him. "Promise?"

"Until the end of the world."

Her eyes filled with tears.

* * *

They walked up Broadway together, holding hands. There was a breeze now, tempering the heat. On the Lincoln Center plaza there was a crowd. "Midsummer Night Swing," he explained. "They do this every summer. A live band, and dancing outdoors on the plaza." 

As they walked over he felt his body responding to the music. And the moon, floating above the Metropolitan Opera House. And the fountain. And the warm summer breeze.

She felt it too, because she was looking at him with a mischievous gleam in her eye as she said, "You may not be able to fight anymore, William, but I bet you can still dance."

"Would you like to dance, Buffy?"

She smiled. "Yes. Yes, I would."

They danced.

* * *


End file.
